I hesitate writing about this because it feels so whiny, but I also think it might be therapeutic to try and put some of these feelings into words. There are days that I think it would be so much easier to have a different job. I am pretty sure the pay would be better, I would be a little more respected by my colleagues, and I wouldn't be on call so much. Yeah, there are days the stay-at-home mom thing is not so appealing. I absolutely adore my kids (and I am pretty sure they are about the cutest on the planet) but after picking up the same toy/shoes/shirt/backpack for the millionth time my patience wears a little thin. I almost lost it the other night. Why can't something that I just cleaned stay that way for a least 10 minutes?!? I totally feel like a failure at times. How can I possibly be a good mom if I can't even keep on top of the (endless) dishes, meals, laundry, papers, and STUFF?!? And somehow fit it all in between all the other obligations -- places to go, people to see. I feel like I will never be the supermom I should be. You know the type... THEY never yell at their kids, lose their patience, have dirty dishes in the sink, etc. (Okay, I know sometimes THEY do, but this is how it seems to me.) How can I ever possibly live up? It is also hard feeling like I am taken for granted by my kids. It is a struggle trying to teach them to be responsible. In some ways it would be easier to just do it myself, but I know in my heart of hearts, that would not be doing them any favors.
To sum up, I want to do this job better, but how? Supermoms out there, I would LOVE some advice. Both the practical tips and how to deal with the emotional toll that this can take are all welcome.
And lastly to my mother, I am SO SORRY if I ever made you feel like this! This (stay-at-home) motherhood thing is certainly the most challenging job I have ever done and I totally give you props for how well you did it!
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3 comments:
I don't know, Carli...I just don't know what the answer is, but I know that I am wondering too. But, look on the good(?) side - I found a list today that I had written when Lynlee was a baby with ideas of productive things I could do to fill my time. At least we don't have that problem anymore! I think you are a supermom (which, by the way, does not mean being perfect! If our homes had to be perfect, there would never be sock-fights, baking cookies or running through the sprinklers, right? At least that's what I'm telling myself.
You don't know me but I happened apon your blog and thought I would leave you a little comment.
I find that whenever I feel overwhelmed with being a stay at home mom, I just think to myself "they will only be young once" and I try to remeber that it's not forever. That also helps me to cherish the good moments too.
Like if I have to sit up at night with my kid, and I am so tired, I just have to remind myself that soon they wont want you to sit and cuddle them...you know.
I'm sure you are doing a great job being super mom!
Well Carli, I'm no supermom, but when things are in an absolute caotic mess here, I throw my hands up and say, "Let's watch a movie!" Christian and I pop popcorn and grab whatever treats we have and we watch a movie together. Since the dishes will always need to be done, at least I'm creating a fun memory w/ Christian (as Anya naps.)
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