I thought a ton about my goals for the year. The last part of December usually brings on the swirling of ideas of things I would like to change about myself. This year was no different and because of place I have been in lately, I had to narrow it down and get some focus. After all, I think real progress in a couple of things is better than being so overwhelmed with everything that I feel unable to do anything.
I have some days where I feel I am drowning in my own mediocrity -- my house is messy, my to do list is pages long, I have a pile of papers on my kitchen counter that is threatening to take over the world, it has been too long since really connecting with and supporting my friends and family, somehow the basics of the gospel even seem out of my reach, AND the way it is in my head is rarely is how it ever turns out. Am I the only one who ever feels this way?
I won't share all my goals, because some of them are pretty personal, but I did want to put some of them "out there" for some form of accountability. So here is some of my list and what I am doing to work on these things. I feel very blessed to have friends that I surround myself with that can teach me some of these things.
- Talk less, listen more
- Erase the unnecessary
- "ORGANIZE yourself, PREPARE every needful thing" -- wills, 72 hour kits, food storage inventory
- Study scriptures 10 minutes daily
- Lose 40 pounds
- Take a photography course
- Improve my photoshop skills (how to use actions)
- Begin voice lessons again
- Learn how to make things beautiful (presentation)
I think the most difficult will be losing weight and the most abstract like talking less, erasing distractions, and learning better presentation skills.
With the weight thing, I have started (yet another) diet. I am doing a really strict one as I try to gain more motivation (by seeing the numbers go down on the scale) to do the responsible thing of less input, more output. I have some great events coming up that are also adding some incentive; my brother's wedding is in March and then I am going to NYC in April. I would like to be less gross by both of those, not to mention swimsuit season.
I am not kidding myself, erasing distractions is going to be extremely difficult for me. I have a tendency to care about and get invested things and people that are not really adding anything to my life. I guess it is a form of decluttering. I read a great quote the other day on a friend's facebook status that really set off bells for me. "Never make somebody a priority in your life when they only make you an option in theirs." I hope that by learning this I will free myself to focus more on what is truly important.
I have never really figured out how to make things beautiful and the art of presentation. I am so overwhelmed by all that goes into that I seem to stay frozen where I am. I would really like to have a house that looks like grown-ups live there. I would like to not be scared when someone talks about decorating a cake. I am so lucky that I have friends and family that are very good at that and I am hoping to make a conscious effort this year to learn from them.
I just feel like this is the year! I would like to feel like I am progressing. There is too much in my life where I feel like I am just hanging on by my fingernails. This is the year I am going to get my act together and take actions so that I can begin to feel the freedom of being capable. I know that by myself I will not be able to get there, but I know with the help of family, friends, and especially the Lord that I will be able to make PROGRESS.