Sunday, March 9, 2008

Miscellaneous musings...

Not quite sure what kind of post will result from all these thoughts and feelings swirling around in me. It is bound to be a miscellaneous little stream of consciousness. Bear with me.

First off, I got one of the nicest compliments today at church. My friend was sitting next to me when she leaned over and told me she had gotten the movie Mary Poppins for her children. They were watching the movie as a family when her daughter announced that Mary Poppins reminded her of me! How cute is that?!? For goodness sake, she is "practically perfect in every way!" (Not to mention Julie Andrews is one of my heroes and she won an Oscar for that role.) I took it as a supreme compliment and it totally made my day. Thank you Madison. :)

I have had several experiences as of late that have caused me to think a lot about love and different kinds of love. I think that is one thing I would like people to say of me -- she knew how to love. I wish I had more of that perfect Christlike love; you know the kind that is patient, kind, and long suffering. I want to have charity. I love my children so completely. Leaving my children last week was an interesting mix of emotions, but I was almost overwhelmed with my love and adoration of them. I would do anything for them. I have so much hope for them and all that they are going to become. Then there is my amazing, sweet, handsome husband. I thought I loved him when we got married, but that pales to where we are now. The last 12 years with him have taught me a lot and the more I learn about him the more I find to love. I couldn't have guessed what is an amazing father he would be. I didn't know his first impulse would always be to give the benefit of the doubt and see how he could serve. Unfortunately, those are not my first reactions and he is an incredible example to me. I am learning that when you truly love, pride can become a servant to that love. I first discovered that with Ken, but I now apply that lesson to other relationships. My personal happiness becomes secondary. I want to love and serve more fully my family, friends, and others. I know I still have much to learn, but I want to love even more than before and grow closer to that perfect love.

Speaking of perfect love, I am in awe of the love of God. I know I take much for granted. At church today I was taught exactly what I needed. It started with the opening hymn of How Great Thou Art. It was hard to hold back the tears as I sang the third verse...

And when I think that God, his Son not sparing,

Sent him to die, I scarce can take it in,
That on the cross my burden gladly bearing
He bled and died to take away my sin,
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee,
How great thou art! How great thou art!

That beautiful hymn seemed to invite the Spirit into my heart and I was prepared to learn and worship. Bro. Breen spoke on the atonement of the Savior and Bro. Sorenson spoke on the temple. Then I taught my Sunday School class on the power of personal prayer. Many scriptures and quotes from church leaders were just what I needed to hear. Sis. Acker taught about repentance in Relief Society. I am so thankful for the truths that were taught and to a loving Father that helped me to hear the messages shared.

Easter is quickly approaching and I want to use this time to better focus my life on Jesus Christ. I know He is my Savior. I am preparing to sing O Divine Redeemer in church next Sunday. My deepest desire is to share my deep love and testimony of Him through music. I spend much of my time feeling insignificant, worthless, and incapable of the tasks before me. And then I am reminded of the sweet and matchless gift of the atonement. I know with God all things are possible and He sent His Son "to save a wretch like me." I am so grateful for the gospel and the many tender mercies I am blessed with.


Kris said...

Those were definitely not random thoughts. I echo everything you said and you said it beautifully. Thanks for being who you are...Mary Poppins.

Joe and Karen said...

We can see the similarities between you and Mary Poppins. However, we don't see Ken as Bert, Billy Joel maybe, but definately not Bert.

It is so fun to catch up on you guys.

Elizabeth said...

Perhaps my favorite line from this post was your comment about spending a lot of time feeling worthless and unequal to whatever task you have. But then you said something to the effect of, "And then I think of the matchless gift of the atonement." That really, really touched me.

Despite whatever you think, I think you're rather remarkable.