Well, Peyton and Morgan had fallen asleep so I was enjoying the time with Trevor. We started talking about what he had learned at preschool. I was asking about letters and he was telling the sounds they make. I was surprised to hear that he knew all his letter sounds. (Miss Jen is awesome!) I knew he could spell "pop" so I wondered if he could figure out how to spell rhyming words.
"Trevor, you know how to spell pop, do you think you could figure out how to spell h-h-h-hop?"
He thought about it for a minute and then said, "h-o-p." We went on to try bop, top, and cop (tricky, is it a k or c?). It was great seeing the wheels turn in his brain as he figured out out each word. I was so proud of him and his ability to focus and concentrate.
We were still slowly making our way home, so I asked him how high he could count. He made it to about forty pretty easily (who really needs 16 anyway?). He had copied Morgan a lot, but it was great to see how far he could get on his own. So he got to forty and then the wheels started to turn again. At each set of ten he would pause, figure out where he was on those adorable 4-year-old fingers, and then start on the next set. His eyes were lit up with the excitement of figuring it out and keeping the pattern going. At 99 he got stuck and so I helped him with 100. On his face was sheer joy as he exclaimed, "I didn't know I could count all the way to 100!" I think Ken, Grandma, and I were as excited for him.
I told him how proud I was of him and all he was learning. Somehow the topic turned to things that he sometimes struggles with. We talked about choosing the appropriate reactions when something happens. We talked about different situations and what good reaction he could choose. After a few minutes of this, in his most sincere voice he said, "Mom, I won't ever choose the wrong reaction again!"
I looked at my dear, sweet, tender-hearted boy with my heart exploding with love for him, thinking how all of us struggle with choosing the right actions and reactions. How many times I must have said these same words to my Heavenly Father in prayer, only to fail, again. So I say to him the only thing that I can think of, "Trevor, don't worry if you choose the wrong reaction sometimes, mommy and daddy will always be there to help you."
Over the last few days I have thought of this small moment in time I was able to share with my son. I have reflected on the great love I have for all my children. And then I can't help but think of the great love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ has for them and for me. I am so grateful for the gift of families and especially the the amazing blessing of being a mother. I guess it was fitting that this happened on Mother's Day.
I don't ever want to forget that moment! It has also made me think of some other things that I never want to forget...
- How Peyton says "(ex)cuse-you-me" and calls Morgan "sissy"
- The delicious, earthy smell of rain
- That God knows who we need in our lives to help us know we are not alone
- How easy it is to fall in love with Ken over and over again
- That my soul feels lighter after time spent with good friends
- Trevor when he sings
- The look on Peyton's face as she blows me a kiss
- The warmth of Ken as I get in bed beside him
- When someone sees me, really sees me, and loves me anyway
- How good it feels to be in the dirt planting things that grow (sometimes, anyway)
- That occasionally I am a good mom
- Listening to Morgan read from the scriptures
- "Ah-ha" moments are priceless